January 4, 2024

Emotional and psychological support for Divorcees

This article has been written by Ms. Kumari Shalini, a fourth-year student of Lloyd Law College, Greater Noida.

ABSTRACT

Divorce is a period of transition during which the divorced parties must adjust to changes and deal with the restructuring of the family system. Divorcees’ psychological health might be a crucial sign of how well they are adjusting. A sense of loss connected to the dissolution of the marriage is one of the several reasons that achieving well-being is difficult. One important relational resource for getting over the crisis and settling into life after divorce is social support. This article validates the intermediary function of assistance in fostering well-being following sorrow associated with marital dissolution. As a result, for both divorced men and women, perceived social support is a crucial tool that can significantly influence their ability to achieve psychological well-being following a divorce, as it helps to lessen the negative effects of the sense of loss that comes with ending a marriage.

INTRODUCTION

Divorce is an emotionally charged journey that often leaves individuals feeling overwhelmed, vulnerable, and isolated. The end of a marriage signifies a significant life transition, bringing myriad challenges that extend beyond legal proceedings. Emotional and psychological support during this tumultuous period is crucial for individuals to navigate the complexities of divorce and emerge resilient. While marital stability can contribute to personal development and success for the individual, marital failure can cause persistent and widespread confusion and unrest. As a social phenomenon, divorce can result in a wide range of problems and repercussions, as well as occasionally numerous additional social harms on both an individual and a societal level. Coping with the emotional fallout of divorce requires a multifaceted approach, involving self-care, interpersonal support, and in some cases professional intervention.  

Divorce, also referred to as the breakdown of a partner relationship, is one of the most taxing and psychologically difficult life events. Whatever the reasons, which may lead us to view divorce as a desired end to unresolvable relationship problems, divorce is an upsetting experience that has an impact on both the life of the person and the family unit as a whole. The ramifications of divorce are not limited to the divorcing couple; they also affect the children, the extended family, and society at large. In this article, we will explore the various aspects of emotional and psychological support that can aid individuals in coping with the emotional toll of divorce.

Understanding the Emotional Impact of Divorce: 

  • Grief and loss: Divorce is akin to experiencing a loss, and the grieving process is a natural and necessary part of healing. Understanding the stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance can help individuals make sense of their emotions and work towards acceptance.
  • Self-Reflection and Personal Growth: Encouraging self-reflection is an essential aspect of emotional support during divorce. Individuals may use this time to explore personal goals, values, and aspirations. The process of self-discovery can contribute to personal growth and a positive outlook on the future.
  • Communication and Expression: Open and honest communication is vital during divorce. Encouraging individuals to express their feelings, whether through talking with friends, and family or seeking professional counselling helps and prevents emotional bottling and fosters a healthier emotional release.

Professional Support Services:

  • Therapeutic Interventions: seeking the assistance of a qualified therapist or counsellor can provide a safe space for individuals to express their emotions and receive guidance. Therapy can be conducted individually or as a part of couples counselling, facilitating effective communication and understanding between divorcing partners.
  • Support Groups: Joining support groups for individuals going through a divorce can be immensely beneficial. These groups offer a sense of community, allowing participants to share experiences, advice, and coping strategies. Knowing that others are navigating similar challenges can reduce feelings of isolation.
  • Legal Counsel and Mediation: legal proceedings can intensify emotional stress. Providing access to competent counsel and mediation services helps individuals understand their rights, responsibilities, and the legal process. This, in turn, can alleviate anxiety and uncertainty.

Coping Strategies:

  1. Mindfulness and Meditations: Introducing mindfulness and meditation practices can aid in managing stress and promoting emotional well-being. Techniques such as deep breathing and guided meditation can be powerful tools for staying present and reducing anxiety.
  2. Healthy and Lifestyle choices: Encouraging individuals to prioritize their physical health can have a positive impact on mental well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep contribute to improved mood and resilience.
  3. Setting Realistic Expectations: It is crucial to help individuals set realistic expectations for themselves during and after the divorce process. Recognizing that healing takes time and that setbacks are a natural part of the journey can prevent unnecessary frustration.

Strengthening existing relationships and seeking support from friends and family is invaluable. Encouraging open communication with loved ones fosters a sense of belonging and reduces the emotional burden on the individual. Divorce often involves a restructuring of social circles. Encouraging individuals to engage in new activities, join clubs, or pursue hobbies provides opportunities to build new connections and broaden their support network.

Effect of Divorce on women:

  • Two-thirds of the divorces are started by women;
  • 75% of divorced moms retain custody of their children, even if it was not granted by a judge; 
  • divorced women and children make up 36% of those living below the federal poverty line; 
  • Women adjust to divorce better overall and with less stress than men do. This is due to three factors: (1) women are more likely than men to recognize marital issues and feel relieved when they are resolved; (2) women are more likely to rely on social support networks and outside assistance; and (3) women are more likely to see an increase in self-esteem following a divorce and the adoption of new roles in their lives.

Effects of Divorce on men:

  • Generally speaking, men face more challenges with emotional adjustment than women. This is due to several factors, including diminished income, a lack of social connection, closeness, and the frequent disruption of the parental position.
  • Compared to women, men remarry more often.
  • Men initially see divorce more negatively than do women, and they invest more time and effort into trying to keep their marriage intact.

 

Effects of Divorce on Children:

  • Emotional Distress: Children may experience heightened levels of anxiety and depression due to the upheaval and uncertainty surrounding the divorce. The dissolution of their parent’s marriage can evoke feelings of grief and loss, particularly if they struggle to understand the reasons behind the divorce.
  • Behavioural Changes: Some children may express their distress through changes in behavior, such as acting out, defiance, or regression in previously acquired skills. On the other hand, some children may become more withdrawn, exhibiting signs of sadness or isolation.
  • Feeling of Rejection: Children may internalize divorce as a personal rejection, leading to lowered self-esteem. The changing family structure may prompt questions about identity and self-worth.
  • Academic Challenges: Divorce-related stress can affect the performance of the child directly in their studies and ability to perform well in school. 

 

Why Mediation is considered better to help people in divorce than Litigation?

Mediation is often considered a more compassionate and appropriate venue for helping people in divorce compared to litigation for several compelling reasons. The nature of Mediation, as an alternative Dispute Resolution tends to prioritize communication, collaboration, and mutually agreeable solutions. Mediators can help clients avoid paying thousands of dollars in up-front and ongoing legal and therapy costs. Also, they can assist parties in resolving their emotional problems for the benefit of their children and their psychological well-being. They can also help parties concentrate on building their best possible future. They assist parties in feeling heard, taking ownership of their part in the marriage’s breakdown, and, if children are involved, starting the process of changing their relationship from that of partners to that of co-parents.

  • Mediation encourages parties to identify their underlying interests and needs, rather than focusing solely on legal positions. This allows for more holistic problem-solving, addressing the emotional and practical needs of both parties.
  • Mediation is particularly beneficial for parents, as it allows them to collaboratively address the needs and concerns of their children. Child custody and parenting plans can be developed with a focus on the best interests of the child.
  • Mediation encourages divorced parties to focus on the future and work towards mutually beneficial resolutions. This forward-looking approach contributes to the healing process and facilitates a sense of closure.

 

The social and economic categories can be used to categorize the socio-cultural effects of divorce. Divorce prepares a person for consequences in social interactions, including feelings of shame, sexual dysfunction, social marginalization, and stigma. Furthermore, when a couple files for divorce, they encounter hostility from others, their relationships with others are strained, and the divorced individual’s image is tarnished. As a result, the divorced person experiences social alienation and loses their support networks. Aside from these negative effects, being divorced makes one vulnerable to harassment in public and at work, friendship and short-term relationship offers, concubine proposals, and illegal partnerships, all of which can have further negative effects on the ex-spouse. Divorce affects a person’s finances as well. One of the most significant financial repercussions for males is having to pay dowries, which can make their financial situation worse. In addition, those who experience financial difficulties and the loss of resources and financial assistance following a divorce tend to search for better professions or put in more hours of work to make up for their lack of financial success.

Divorce is a negative phenomenon with long-lasting effects on both individuals and society. These effects affect not just the divorcing individual but also the children, the paternal family, and society at large. Everyone is impacted by divorce, and in certain situations, the harm is irreversible. Consequently, knowledge of the effects of divorce can aid in the creation of initiatives that lessen these effects on people and society.

 

CONCLUSION

Divorce is a despicable phenomenon that hurts society and families alike. Divorce is a phenomenon with numerous consequences that not only cause various psychological and social harms to couples and their families but also have wide-ranging effects at the community level. The extensive consequences of divorce are classified into three dimensions: individual (physical-psychological and behavioural), family (children and paternal family), and socio-cultural (social and economic). Navigating the emotional and psychological challenges of divorce requires a multifaceted approach that addresses the individual’s unique needs. By providing a combination of professional support services, coping strategies, and the development of a strong supportive network, individuals can emerge from the divorce process with resilience, self-awareness, and a positive outlook on the future. The journey through divorce is undoubtedly difficult, but with the right support, individuals can not only survive but thrive in the aftermath of this life-altering experience.

 

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